


Tony Stark's Home for Psychologically Iffy Superheroes

by wakeupthenightmare



Series: The Avengers vs. Domesticity [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avenger family, Avengers Assemble!, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Crack, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Heroes and Villains, I have no idea how this happened, M/M, Oblivious Steve Rogers, Protective Bucky Barnes, The Avengers Are Good Bros, Tony Stark Has Issues, but he was kidnapped by a twit so no one blames him, grumpy steve
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-15 15:15:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7227601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wakeupthenightmare/pseuds/wakeupthenightmare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>"What's got your panties in a twist today, Barnes? You find out your favourite jazz band is dead or something?"</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Barnes' eyes narrowed further and Tony reassured himself with the knowledge that Pepper was well-looked after with his last will and testament.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <em>"Jazz was the 20's Stark. And that was for Steve." Bucky growled, eyes fixed on the now-empty jug of coffee and Tony decided he'd ask to write out a goodbye note to Pepper using fridge magnets before Barnes strangled him.</em></p><p> </p><p>  <em>Yes, Tony had alphabet magnets. No the Avengers were not currently engaged in an informal contest for who could come up with the naughtiest words. Absolutely not.</em></p><p> </p><p>  <em>"Bye, Tony, was nice knowing you." Barton commented from the other end of the island counter and yawned into his bowl of cheerios.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>or the one where Bucky loves Steve and Steve loves Bucky, Tony thinks he's Hitch, Clint gets mad sugar-rushes, Sam feels like a permanent babysitter, Natasha knows how to make pancakes and Bruce is briefly struck off the lab-buddy list.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Tony Stark had the most coveted collection of all time.

It wasn't the collection of vintage STARK enterprise weapons, including what Tony had dubbed the Reject Range; his favourite was the weaponised pen that was meant to detonate after a five-second delay, but instead just blew whoever pressed it sky high as soon as the top was pressed.

It wasn't the ever-growing number of Iron Men suits he added to every other week, with new gadgets and new ways to give Pepper grey hair with worry.

No, it was the collection of heroes that took up most of the upper floors that had followers around the world dreaming of having just one day to wander the halls of the Avengers Tower.

Of course, if they _did_ actually see the kind of crazy shit Stark had invited into his home, they might think twice. Careful what you wish for and all that.

Case in point: the newest addition to their ragtag group, yet another ex-brainwashed-assassin, Bucky Barnes.

Who was currently glaring at Tony with his patented murder-eyes as the billionaire practically inhaled the coffee he'd just poured.

"What's got your panties in a twist today, Barnes? You find out your favourite jazz band is dead or something?"

Barnes' eyes narrowed further and Tony reassured himself with the knowledge that Pepper was well-looked after with his last will and testament.

"Jazz was the 20's Stark. And that was for Steve." Bucky growled, eyes fixed on the now-empty jug of coffee and Tony decided he'd ask to write out a goodbye note to Pepper using fridge magnets before Barnes strangled him.

Yes, Tony had alphabet magnets. No the Avengers were not currently engaged in an informal contest for who could come up with the naughtiest words. Absolutely not.

"Bye, Tony, was nice knowing you." Barton commented from the other end of the island counter and yawned into his bowl of cheerios.

The Avengers had learned early on that Bucky had channelled his pent-up aggression into protecting Steve. It was like a grizzly protecting an obliviously loyal labrador. This protection clearly extended to Steve's supply of morning caffeine.

Bucky stretched out his metal limb across the counter, scraping the fingers lightly over the marble, smiling gleefully.

"Hey, hey, big guy," Tony rambled, hands held out placatingly, "remember what the shrinks told you. We use _words_ , not deadly soviet-trained fists. You gonna kill a guy before his third cup of coffee?"

Bucky rolled his shoulders.

"Banner, Bruceyyyy, buddy! Come use your insane methods of self-control on Mama Russia Bear over here, would you?" Tony called to Bruce at his place on the couch.

"Nope." Bruce said.

"That's it, I'm cutting you off from the lab. You're off the lab buddies list." Tony pouted and changed tactics.

"Clint, buddy, my favourite avenger, my pal-"

"I want a new bow." Clint drank the milk from his bowl.

"Done. New explosions and everything. Now protect me with your knowledge of hot, crazy, Russian ex assassins."

Clint sent Tony a withering stare, but then rose up from the counter and slowly set about refilling the filter machine. Bucky watched him with wary curiosity, in the middle of some finger-stretching that only he could make threatening.

Clint flicked the switch and all three men watched as the water eventually filtered into the jug, creating a fresh wave of coffee-fumes.

"See, Barnes?" Clint waved his hands in a tah-dah motion at the coffee machine. "Plenty of coffee for Steve. You can get five more cups outta this. Coffee's not on rations anymore." Clint smiled, pleased, like some sort of salesman after a great pitch, and Tony sighed out in relief when Barnes relaxed his shoulders and fixed his intense gaze on Clint instead.

"Teach me." he demanded.

"Uh..."

"Bucky!", they all turned their heads at the sound of Steve's voice. The man in question came into view, jogging down the stairs and striding towards them, pouting and brandishing a clump of what looked like t-shirts in his hand.

"Did you swap our clothes again?" Steve asked, but his frustrated expression said he knew the answer.

Bucky sipped at his coffee, blue eyes wide and innocent over the rim.

Tony scoffed. Yeah, right, nice try Frosty number deux: special psychotic edition. Bucky looked up angrily in his direction and Tony pointed an accusatory finger at Clint next to him.

Clint gaped and sputtered at Tony, "Traitor."

Steve huffed impatiently. "For the last time, Bucky, cut it _out,_ none of your stuff fits, see?" Steve took off the hoodie he'd been wearing and gestured wildly towards his torso. The top just about fit his shoulders, but only because it left half his midriff showing where it rode up.

Clint and Tony looked at each other, then burst into laughter.

Tony wolf-whistled, "Nice abs, Cap, and don't worry, skin-tight is all the rage now. Less is more." Tony sniggered with Clint some more but cut off abruptly when Bucky growled lowly and shoved away from the counter. He stalked towards a startled-looking Steve and proceeded to push him back up the stairs, covering him with his body.

"Perhaps Barnes would like me if I ordered a hundred personalised shirts, actually in Steve's size, with the words 'Property of Bucky Barnes' on the front."

Clint choked on the biscuit he just snuck out of the cookie jar.

"What?!" He spluttered.

"Jeez, really? Am I the only one who pays any attention around here? And you're meant to be a spy..."

"Well we never claimed he was a good one." Natasha spoke from behind Tony and the genius jumped about a foot in the air.

"Don't _do_ that." Tony snapped, "Make some sound, stomp around a bit, it's cathartic."

Natasha just grinned wolfishly and plucked an apple from the fruit bowl, biting delicately into it.

"Anyway, I take it _you_ at least see what I'm seeing?" Tony waves his hands in the direction of the stairs perhaps over-enthusiastically. Here comes the coffee buzz.

"You mean how Bucky wants a piece of Steve's particularly delicious-looking rear?" Natasha asked blandly. Clint choked on a second biscuit and Natasha didn't even blink as she reached out a hand to pat him firmly on the back.

"Hey! Not all of us get supersoldier serum-butts. At least I _earned_ mine." Clint whined and looked balefully at Natasha.

"Relax, dear, your ass is delicious too. Just an observation." she ran fingers through Clint's hair, rolling her eyes fondly at his petulant expression. "And no more biscuits. You know you handle your sugar as well as a three-year-old."

Clint shoved the last biscuit in his hand into his mouth before nodding sagely and she smacked him lightly upside the head.

"сладкоежки идиот" she muttered what was clearly an insult, but it was lessened by her affectionate tone and playful petting of his head.Tony shook his head a little horrified at two cases of scarily gooey Russian love within the space of five minutes.

"You're as bad as Barnes." Tony snarked and mimed throwing up into his coffee.

"Hardly. I got over my protective phase years ago."

"I think you mean cavewoman phase." Clint corrected happily, shrugging in a 'what?' gesture at Natasha's pout.

"Really?" Tony asked, gleefully, "Natasha was all..." Tony waved his hands about, "growly and downright terrifying?"

Clint snorted and looked kind of smug, "Oh yeah. She wouldn't talk to anyone else for months after I recruited her. Only me."

Tony tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Sounds familiar. And, did she ever make threats to, I don't know, string someone up by their smaller intestines after they, maybe... made a passing comment about how your crazy shoulder to waist ratio would look great in a Mr July calendar shoot?"

Even Bruce looked up at that for a moment, disbelieving. Natasha laughed delightedly, not fooled at all by Tony's poorly hidden question and Clint just looked at Tony, mildly horrified.

"Oh wow, no wonder Barnes hates you." she grinned.

"Hey, I was just trying to lighten the mood! The guy walks in and you can practically feel the laser target on your forehead!"

"Uh-huh. Little tip, flirting with an angry sniper's long-time love isn't going to get that target away from you and your weird genius brain." Natasha raised an eyebrow as though reprimanding a child.

Tony absolutely did not stick his tongue out at her.

"Wait, so Barnes and Rogers are together?" Clint asked, a little lost.

"Not yet." Natasha and Tony said together and then looked at each other, considering.

"Operation get Barnes laid?" Tony asked hopefully.

Natasha's lip quirked up in what  was known as her 'challenge accepted' smirk.

Tony whooped loudly. He didn't question when Bruce eventually walked over and took away his half-finished fourth cup of coffee.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

 "Tony, I am seriously going to make you regret the day you put on that ugly, stupid mask!" Steve shouted angrily, despite knowing his comms equipment was broken.

Steve struggled furiously against the weird, nylon-like rope that ran thinly around his entire body, shoulders to ankles. He hated the 21st century and its weird weapon logic. He longed for the days when strength and danger was obvious- the bigger the gun, the bigger the hit. The bigger the goddamn rope, the harder it was to break.

He'd broken out of chains thicker than his wrists but _this_ shit was somehow holding up?

Goddammit.

"Struggle all you want, _Captain_ , those ropes will hold." the masked villain replied in a typical patronising tone. Honestly, would it kill some of their enemies to at least have manners once in a while?

"You'd better hope they do, for your own sake." Steve snarled, turning to face the unmasked man as best he could from his trussed-up position on the cold cement floor. The same man raised his eyebrows from behind the eye mask in wary surprise, and Steve found his own eyes widening in shock at the bite in his words.

He was known for his perpetually calm, disappointed-dad way of speaking to even the most frustrating and gross villains, no matter what situation he ended up in, and he'd certainly been in worse ones than this.

It didn't even make his top 20.

But it had been a long-ass day; Steve was tired and sweating in the unnatural heat of this room, and he found he really didn't care if he hurt the mad-man's feelings. He'd hurt Steve's first by interrupting a good fight between the Avengers and some good old-fashioned robot minions to kidnap him. All because Tony had broken rank and left Steve's back vulnerable resulting in him being swarmed by numbers that even he couldn't break through, especially without his shield that he'd thrown to Nat minutes earlier when she'd gotten cornered.

"I'm going to shave his beard off in the night for this." Steve huffed out, and grunted in annoyance again as he felt his belt digging into his hip. It seemed every time he moved the rope just got tighter. It was definitely going to leave bruises underneath the softer parts of his uniform.

Bucky was gonna be pissed.

"I see someone didn't take their wholesome Father-of-America pills this morning." the man grumbled and- was he _pouting_? Seriously?

"Well, I just didn't get my coffee this morning before you decided to annoy lower Manhattan. Guess I've developed a small caffeine addiction without realising. Oops." Steve drawled and gave up on wriggling about to just turn and glare a hole through this newest goon's head.

"Hmm. Well I guess someone of your age needs the energy. Getting a bit slow now you're scraping the one hundred mark, Cap."

"Wow, haven't heard that one before." Steve said blankly. He was twenty seven for crying out loud. Why was it always the mastermind types, like Tony and these villains, who didn't seem to grasp the concept of cryo- deliberate or not?

Anyway. Plan, Rogers. Bucky's had plenty of time to kill Tony without you there as a buffer already.

Steve looked around for inspiration. The place they were in was cylindrical, no more than thirty feet across and everything was made of thick iron. The metal was so rusted and dulled though that it was clear, whatever it was, it hadn't been used for anything other than this guy's nefarious base for a while.

The room held two giant vats, with hollowed, concrete runners that disappeared through a small hole in the wall. The vats were probably for melting metal then, which would be poured down the concrete 'pipes' into whatever room lay on the other side, for forgery.

There was also a small crane built securely into the ground opposite the two vats, and masked-Moron, as Steve had dubbed him, was tinkering with the control box for it in a way that made Steve nervous. Well, that and the ominous bubbling pops that were coming from the vats. They clearly weren't empty, and it made sense now why it felt like it was 200 degrees in this room.

A particularly loud belch and splatter of white-hot, melted metal from the vat closest to Steve had him crying out in alarm.

Masked-Moron cackled with unattractive laughter.

"Have you figured it out yet, Captain?" he asked, grinning when he plugged something back in and a light stuttered into life on the control panel, a dulled green.

"What, that you're planning on roasting me in one of those with the crane?" Steve retorted and smirked when Moron blinked, put out.

"Don't take it too bad, little man, all villains are obvious."

"I am five foot seven! That's perfectly average!" he shrieked, missing Steve's irony. "I am Negatron and I will not be mocked by a trussed up _turkey-baked-style-hero to_ be!"

Steve blinked, "You call yourself Negatron?"

The man- Negatron, apparently- stomped his foot petulantly. "Obviously! What else are people going to call me?"

Steve grinned and opened his mouth to snark a reply, but Negatron had apparently caught on.

"Nevermind... You think I'm so obvious, _Captain_ , well fine, let's get on with it. I want you ready to drop when your friends get here." he sneered and began to push levers and buttons until the crane staggered into movement.

Steve swore as the claws began to move down, closer to him, and tried to roll away but couldn't get the momentum where his body was tied so straight and tight.

The metal claws stopped bare inches above his torso and started to move in a grabbing motion. Steve hoped for a moment that they'd cut the wiry rope, but all they did was hook in-between the strands, (what the hell is this stuff made of?!)

Now underneath the ropes, the edges scraped across Steve's suit, shredding through the softer parts and only struggling for a minute before crunching through the thin armoured plates on his abdomen and chest.

Steve stifled a scream as best he could, teeth clenched when he felt the sharp edges tear skin like it was silk.

Finally, the claws stopped moving, firmly hooked in-between the rope as well as Steve's suit now. Steve took a minute to breathe through the aftershocks of pain, glaring tenfold when Negatron laughed cruelly. Blood soaked thickly and sticky into his suit and skin.

"Tell me, Captain, do you think your body will be able to heal if your flesh is burned from your bones layer by layer?"

"Not when it's too busy healing me as I slowly die from boredom with _you_." Steve gritted out.

"Funny. Let's see who laughs last though."

Steve mimed a yawn and rolled his eyes at the sheer cliché of this guy. He sighed when the crane began to lift him up and around to the vats, moving at a painfully slow pace thanks to the rust and general age of it. There were actually a couple of moments where Steve thought the crane was going to give out with his weight, but no such luck.

When he was about two metres from the edge of the vat, and beginning to really sweat with the heat, there was a clanging noise from the roof and the sound of something buzzing.

Two seconds later, a piece of the high-ceilinged roof came tumbling down, screeching as it scraped the cement floor, followed closely by a red and gold suit.

Tony. Steve inwardly sighed in relief.

Cutting it a bit fine, but he'll be damned if he gives Stark the satisfaction of knowing Steve's glad to see him.

He'd rather take the vat of molten metal than endure Tony's insufferable egotistical comments he'd make if Captain America admitted he needed the billionnaire's help.

Seriously.

"Ah, Iron Man! Just in time for our American barbeque." Negatron crowed.

Tony just stared blankly, before turning to Steve and asking, "Is this guy for real?"

Steve stared daggers at Tony, looking pointedly down at his tied up form.

"Right, yes, rescue. You, sir, are arrested!" Tony pointed dramatically at the annoyed-looking villain and threw a pair of shield-standard cuffs at his feet."You have five seconds to do this the easy way and cuff yourself, or we're gonna assume you want to play hard-ball. Personally I'm hoping for the second because it's much more fun to watch. Well, for me." Tony babbled on and Steve groaned.

"Kill me."

"Missed you too, buddy. Barnes is out for my blood and I need you to rein him in so as much fun as it is to see you dangle helplessly, we're here to save you."

Steve didn't have to see Tony's face to know he was smirking. That was when the sound of a heavy object throwing itself against solid metal echoed around the room, startling Steve and his kidnapper, but not Stark. Steve guessed then that it was the rest of the Avengers and smiled when three thuds later he was proved right.

The thick steel door flew off its hinges, and smashed into the far wall, just clipping the second vat. The Hulk picked itself off the floor where it had stumbled after crashing through the barrier.

"Tony, put a lid on it already would you? I'm not going to your funeral when Barnes shoots you for threatening to leave his sweetheart in danger. In fact I might just give him a hand." Natasha's voice floated through the room and Steve had never felt so glad to see her.

Sam and Clint followed close behind, and the latter grinned when he saw Steve.

"Hey, Cap, how's it hangin'?"

Steve, Tony, Sam and Natasha all groaned and booed at Clint. The bad jokes were only getting worse and worse...

Steve wondered then why Bucky wasn't already ripping the crane from the ground and wrapping Steve in bubble wrap, safe, and a bad feeling crept through his stomach. If Bucky wasn't showing himself to a man _actively threatening_ Steve, he knew it was only a matter of time, and for Negatron's sake, he hoped he'd let Steve go.

"Look, the whole gang is here."

Or not.

"Time to let him go hot-rod." Tony said, and raised a glowing metal gauntlet threateningly.

"Sorry. In for a penny, in for a pound." Negatron grinned and slapped an explosive down on the base of the crane. Before anyone had time to blink, it detonated and the entire arm of the crane groaned, the sound of metal grinding scoured Steve's ear-drums, and then it wobbled for a mere second before starting to list forward.

Steve saw the last metres between him and blistering pain shorten.

"Stark!" Natasha snapped, but Tony was already there, crashing into the crane so that it, Steve, and Tony, all ended up slamming sideways into the wall instead.

When Steve opened his eyes against the smoke again, Tony was picking himself up off the ground and made a beeline for Steve, pulling him up and against the suit, repulsors on his boots shooting them up and forwards, shakily. Somehow they managed to land safely back round to the crane's control panel without falling on their faces.

"Well that was much closer than I thought I'd ever get to you without Mama bear castrating me in my sleep." Tony chirped brightly, "But we can't let you miss the show now, can we now Capsicle." and the blonde's eyes narrowed in suspicion and mild horror at Tony's comment about Bucky's... _unsavoury_ threats.

He wasn't that bad... okay, he wasn't that bad around the rest of the Avengers. Tony was Bucky's game of choice for reasons all too understandable.

Now, Tony laid him carefully back on the floor and began inspecting the ropes while Steve looked around at the others.

Natasha had Negatron in a headlock, and Thor had arrived from somewhere, whispering urgently into Natasha's ear.

"Thor, Nat, what's going on? Get him in cuffs and get me out of this stuff already." Steve said.

"Ah, Captain! It is good to see you well and safe, our fearless leader." Thor smiled brilliantly before continuing, his face falling slightly, "But I am afraid I was unable to restrain James as lady Natasha instructed me to. He escaped my sight moments ago and I cannot find him."

"Oh shit." Clint said and Sam slapped a hand to his face.

"Yes!" Tony whooped and the Avengers looked at him in disbelief. "Oh come on, now we get to see Barnes kick this guy's ass! Really, thanks for choosing the hard-ball option." Tony turned towards their masked prisoner, who was now looking confused as Natasha pushed him roughly toward the ground, moving a distance away.

"Barnes will kill him." Natasha said bluntly and frowned at Tony.

As if waiting for that cue, Bucky dropped down into a crouch from above them. Negatron shrieked in surprise before it cut off into a gurgle, hushed by a metal hand gripping his throat.

"вы взяли Стива." Bucky snarled and brought the man's face inches from his own, his feet dangling off the floor.

Tony sighed happily, "Boy is he pissed you were taken."

Sam rolled his eyes before deciding to do something productive and check on Steve.

"Soldat." Natasha barked and Bucky only sent her a cursory glance. "Stand down. We need him alive."

Bucky looked between her and the man whimpering in his grasp, "невредимый?". Steve had no idea what Bucky was asking, but it was clearly a question from the lilted intonation?

Natasha paused, looking considering, before saying slowly, sweet as honey in a flytrap, "по большей части."

Bucky grinned predatorily, and lowered his arm to drag the man across the floor, still by the neck.

Steve gulped and began to try and reassure Bucky, "Buck, I'm alr-", Bucky's glare had Steve's words dying in his throat.

Oh boy.

Bucky threw the guy down next to Steve and gave him a swift kick to the ribs. "Apologise." Bucky snarled, and Steve took note of his blazing eyes, hair a dark halo framing his handsome face. Er... or, just his face. Just a normal, face. Yep.

Negatron didn't seem to hear amongst his whimpers of pain and fear. Steve almost felt sorry for him.

"I said, _apologise_." Bucky's voice was a harsh growl now as he crouched down, hand gripping the front of Negatron's suit, staring him in the eyes for a short few seconds before throwing him back down to the floor.

"Sorry! I'm s- sorry..." he stuttered out and Steve nodded once, looking at Bucky the entire time.

"Buck, let him go now, let Natasha take him. You did good, I'm alright now." Steve said soothingly, watching as Bucky's shoulders relaxed almost imperceptibly.

"Nyet." Bucky replied, finally looking at Steve. His eyes somehow managed to look soft at him and yet also furious.He looked back at the villain cowering on the floor, deliberating, though he kept glancing back at Steve's worried, doe-eyed gaze.

Bucky sighed dramatically, grumbling under his breath before pulling out a glock. Steve and Sam made to grab him but he only efficiently pistol-whipped Negatron into unconsciousness.

Sam and Steve breathed out huge sighs of relief and Natasha hurried over with Clint to haul their day's prize off to SHIELD before Bucky changed his mind and eviscerated the guy.

Bucky's attention moved quickly to Steve and he set about trying to pull at the ropes with his metal hand. Steve hissed when they only tightened further, cutting into his already-healing wounds from the crane's claw.

Bucky's eyes narrowed at the sound and gently looked at the exposed flesh between the wiry rope. When he saw the suit saturated in blood and the strips of skin knitting back together, he snarled something in Russian that Steve was pretty sure was a curse-word bad enough to make his ears bleed if he could understand it.

"Stark." Bucky barked out, and the remaining Avengers watched as Tony approached cautiously, faceplate now gone.

"Hey, good job. How's my favourite crazy Russian?"

Sam threw his hands up and muttered, "I give up. Your dumb ass is destined to be Winter Soldier fodder."

"Can you cut these." Bucky demanded rather than asked, eyes fixed impatiently on Tony.

"I don't think so. Not without getting them back to the lab. Sorry Cap, but you're gonna have to wear the Christmas hog look for a while longer. They're really quite incredible you see, some sort of nylon super-material. Oh! Maybe a natural thread enhanced with synthetic fibres-"

A shot rang out and bounced off Tony's armour, making the 'genius' let out a squeak of surprise that normally would have had Steve laughing gleefully. As it was, Steve's head whipped round in alarm from staring at Tony in annoyance, to where Bucky was still crouched, gun out and aimed at Stark's foot.

"Stop babbling. You're giving me a headache." Bucky grumbled.

"He shot me!" Tony squawked and gestured widely as if seeking back up.

But the Hulk was dozing in the corner, and Sam just shrugged and said, "Not in the head." Thor laughed so hard it boomed in echoes for moments after.

"If you can't fix it, I will." Bucky said, annoyed, and then a small smile crept over his face, "And once I've fixed it, I'll be coming after you. No head starts." His smile turned into a fully fledged grin when Tony visibly startled.

"What! Why me?!"

"You let him get captured." Bucky said simply, but it was reason enough to make Tony squirm.

"Aw, come on! I rescued him again! Doesn't that count for something?" his imploring words fell on deaf ears as Bucky only seemed to grow more amused.

"Bucky..." Steve sighed and resigned himself to bailing Tony out of Bucky's bad-books.

 _Again_.

"It's not Tony's fault. Well... it was, but that doesn't mean we can murder him and bury his body where no one will find it." Steve sighed again, somewhat wistfully.

"Hey!"

"Please, Buck, just get me back to the tower and help Tony find a way to get me outta these things?" Steve tried out what Natasha called his puppy-dog expression, all wide-eyes and channelling his inner 5ft self that, while a distant memory, was still at the core of all that he was.

Bucky frowned adorably at him in a way that said he knew what Steve was doing but he'd listen to him anyway.

Sure enough, the soldier harrumphed and picked up a grinning Steve, though the blonde's grin quickly turned to a look of shock and then embarrassed fury as Bucky held him in a bridal carry.

"Buck..." Steve snapped in indignation but Bucky only smirked, raising an eyebrow in question.

"Yeah, Stevie?"

"I- er... what?" Steve spluttered, blindsided momentarily by the nickname that was doing funny things to his general chest vicinity.

Or perhaps it was just the ropes tightening that made his heart jump in protest. Yep, we'll go with the ropes.

"Something wrong, pal?" Bucky's wolfish grin made something in Steve fidget, like a kid caught doing something he knew he shouldn't, or just something he didn't _want_ to be caught doing...

Steve pouted at his so-called friend and decided not to wear Bucky's hoodie that evening. He knew the brunette liked it for unfathomable reasons- another side effect of his protectiveness probably, of the only thing he knew from his past- and refusing to wear it would make Bucky sour-faced and huffy all night.

Yeah Steve was being petty, sue him.

"M'not a damsel, Buck." he growled. Tony snickered somewhere off the side, followed by the sound of metal being hit with a blunt object and Tony objecting to Nat's 'cruel and unusual punishment'.

"We could try a fireman's carry, but you can't bend that much with these ropes on." Bucky didn't even bother to pretend his thoughtful look was sincere.

"Just get me to the damn lab and untied before I come after  _you._ No 'head starts'." Steve grouched, quoting Bucky's earlier words with an extra dollop of sarcasm and bitch-face.

Bucky just grinned wider, said, "Doesn't sound so bad." and strode steadily towards the broken down door, hands clutching at a spluttering Steve maybe a little more than necessary.

Sam watched them go with amusement.

"Perhaps we should just leave Steve tied a while longer, it's good for him to be rescued from near death every now and then, keeps Grandpa on his toes." Tony grinned as Sam's eyes just widened and made increasingly energetic _abort! abort!_ motions across his neck.

Which was when the comms crackled to life in Tony's ear with the voice of doom.

_"Stark, as soon as you're done freeing Steve my fist has an appointment with your jaw."_

_"Buck for god sake, I can break his jaw myself!"_

The sounds of them bickering cut off abruptly when Barnes cut it off, and Tony just looked mournfully at Sam, who rolled his eyes.

"I really need to start remembering to turn off my mic..." Tony sighed.

 

**********************************************

 

Later, once the Stark stealth jet was almost at the tower, Bucky looked down at where Steve was laid half across his lap, as comfortable as possible, and held his gaze.

"Don't disappear on me again, Steve. From now on, I'm the one who's watching your back." Bucky mumbled low so that the others wouldn't hear.

Steve squirmed at the fierceness in his friend's eyes, feeling guilty for worrying him even though Steve knew it was par for their job.

"Yeah, okay, Buck. We'll watch each other's." Steve smiled beatifically and Bucky nodded, unable to keep up the stern facade, his face breaking into another of the small smiles that Steve seemed to coax out so effortlessly.

It still caught him by surprise. Every time.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Russian translations:
> 
> вы взяли Стива. = You took Steve  
> невредимый? = Unharmed?  
> по большей части = Mostly.
> 
> I apologise if the Russian is wrong- feel free to curse me and my English tongue wrecking the language

**Author's Note:**

> I had way too much fun on the stupid-villain-names generator.
> 
> Also, any ideas for things you want the Avengers to deal with next are welcome.


End file.
